TGIF- He’s Not Little Anymore
You’ll understand where today’s creativity comes from after I tell you the latest….
First, I love my kids the same. Let’s get that right out the door. But what is it about boys and their mama’s???
I’ve got a heart breaker for you today. I needed an entire box of tissues for this one. It wasn’t pretty.
So the kids are back in school and Brandon is a new freshman.
If there is one sacred time in our house it’s dinner time. It’s where we gather. It’s where we can chat and listen about each other’s day. It’s where we pray together.
Alexis doesn’t always get to sit and eat with us due to her gymnastics schedule but no worries… we hear her talking ALL the time. *wink*
The other day at the table Brandon was discussing his new found friends at the high school. He was telling us all about the “hot” girls, too. One of them started talking to him. If you could only see the smile on his face- priceless!
Of course this mama bear started getting nosy and I also heard that homecoming was coming soon. I remember those fun times like they were yesterday. I loved high school.
This is where the story went downhill and my heart is just crushed.
When I asked Brandon about homecoming he looked at me and said, “Mom, really? Look at me! I wear glasses, I wear braces and I’m not that hot guy. I’m a nerd!”
Stop.
I have to breathe for a minute. Truly this crushed my heart because I never knew how lacking his self confidence was. Never. EVER.
*Just so you know I held all tears back until I was alone and I could have that good ugly cry.*
I was heartbroken that he felt this way about himself.
I knew we had some typical boy issues that we needed to get a handle on such as:
- showers longer than 5 seconds.
- shampoo needs to be rinsed out so you don’t look like a grease blob.
- deodorant is meant to be worn, not a counter top decoration
- a comb is a tool to use on your hair…
Anyone with teenage boys or grown boys? Does this REALLY get better??
All of these are typical 14 yr old issues… fixable at least, right? All of which could probably help the self confidence too, right?
Of course I said to him, “Really B? You feel this way?” He answered quickly with yes! After telling him I thought he was out of his mind and that he was the cutest guy I know besides his daddy, I could tell he wasn’t buying any of it and he quickly told me so.
I know this is normal stuff for teenagers to feel but I didn’t think my kid would feel this way. He is so darn cute. He is so funny and he is SO SO lovable. He still hugs and kisses me in front of other kids. He doesn’t worry about that kinda stuff. He is that lovable.
After we left the dinner table and I had my ugly cry, I was on a mission.
I told Brandon he was getting a make over.
I also went over the main rules of boyhood above. “Son, a shower should take you longer than 5 seconds and your hair should be wet when you come out of the shower!” Seriously, he has showered and come out with DRY hair. When asked why it was dry he says… “I don’t know?” <REALLY??>
Can anyone relate to this?
Just to be clear… I’m not looking for him to be the most popular and personally do not want girls falling all over him. I just want him to feel good about himself. It’s time to uplift him.
This is where my card comes in and I’m killing 2 birds with ONE stone.
Today’s card…
I’ve also noticed that his confidence level in his school abilities has decreased. He is second guessing his choice to be in the IB program. I thought I would boost his confidence a bit with a card. He has a test coming up so I thought I would give him a little pep talk within the card. When making this I had the mind of a teenager. Keep it simple and keep it manly. I think I crushed it. What do you think?
I’ve also been leaving both of them uplifting mama quotes on post it notes on their bathroom mirrors. We did this when Russ was depolyed and the kids loved it. They still do. Something very simple but filled with love.
It’s a challenge too…
I’m multi tasking this week (like all weeks) and this card fit perfectly for the challenge this week for the TGIF challenge. It’s time to mash up all the projects for the month and put something together. Please check out what the other designers have created and the challenge HERE. I hope you participate too.
P.S. I’ll keep you posted on the boy. Today he was fitted for contacts. Sigh… he looks so good and he’s so proud of them.
Have a FANTASTIC weekend.
XOXOXO
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Kimberly VanDiepen
This blog reflects my personal offers and classes as an Independent Stampin’ Up! Demonstrator. Images copyrighted Stampin' Up! All content is copyrighted so please do not submit my work for contests or publication and/or reprint my articles without permission. This site is not affiliated with or endorsed by Stampin' Up!
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Oh goodness this post reminded me so much of my son! He is 20 now and almost over confident! He followed in his dad’s footsteps and is now stationed at Fort Bliss Texas. We couldn’t be prouder of him. However, I remember keeping extra deodarant in my purse for when he “forgot” to use it. I also remember wondering if there would ever be a time he wouldn’t have to be second guessed about showering and other hygiene. It gets better mom! I promise! One day, all of the sudden, he took better care of his general upkeep. Warning though….that’s when he had different arguments with his sister about who gets to shower first and how much time she/he took in the shower. Ah fun times you make me remember. My babies are both out of the house now, but your post reminded me of those times like yesterday. You heart breaks and soars with them for every heartbreak and achievement. That doesn’t ever stop! Thank you for giving us a window into your world.
Oh, Kimberly, I feel you mama-bear pain! I am 40 and fine now, but 7th-9th grades were the most painful for me. I had (thick) glasses, braces, and this metal mouth contraption with rods and a plastic piece that fit over my bottom teeth. It was a miserable three years. My mother finally felt I was mature enough to allow me to get contacts and my confidence SOARED. Then the braces and everything else came off and I was a new girl. Maybe you don’t want to hear this next part, but at the end of ninth grade I got a boyfriend who I dated for the next six years. He was my rock and made me feel so loved and cherished.
Just keep loving amd encouraging your son! He needs to hear it, even if he says “it doesn’t count, you’re my mom”, etc. He is a cute boy and with a personality like you describe, he will eventually find that girls TREASURE that. It is just so hard to be patient for that as a teenager, and even harder as a mom to witness their struggle.
Kimberly, I will pray for Brandon!
Good mama bear! I raised 7 boys and 3 girls and it’s true – sometimes you don’t know what’s going on inside and sometimes it breaks your heart when you find out. “How could this beautiful, smart, funny, kind boy/girl not know how very special he/she is?” I must have done something right. They have all grown up to be wonderful, kind, caring adults (4 grandfathers – eek!) and I try to let them know how very special they are and, yes, I still wonder if they really know that. Keep on keeping on – sounds like you’re doing a great job!
Oh my word. 10 kids? I’m in awe. That’s amazing. I can barely take 2. LOL. Thank you for your encouragement and congratulations on raising such good kids. Praise is huge for kids and that is something both Russ and I are reminding ourselves daily.
Oh girl, thank you for sharing and your encouraging words. It looks like he will take me on a fun ride these next few years. It’s such a struggle because you never want them to hurt. SIGH….
Allysha, I am cracking up over the “over confidence.” I can see that in my daughter sometimes and she is only 12. UGH. That’s the crazy thing, two kids only 20 months apart and polar opposite personalities. It does keep me on my toes.
Holy, did this ever sound familiar!! Well first of all, Brandon doesn’t know me either, and I am NOT a hot 13 yo girl, (unfortunately) but I think he’s cute too!! Lol! He just is! I’ll keep my age to myself cause I’m older than you and I can just hear Brandon say ‘ewww mom!’ Just keep doing what you’re doing, cause its all part of growing up I think. That card is great and from the heart! By the end of the school year Brandon will be hanging more around those hot girls and then you’ll have different worries .. Despite the things he doesn’t like (his glasses and braces) he’s still cute .. and those other things are just temporary. I hope he has already learned that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You are one great mama to get him contacts though. Sad that most kids feel inadequate or nerdy .. I know things will change for him cause he has such a great sense of humor and he’s just a great kid. I hope he won’t allow himself to be labelled by others. Such an important time in his life.
I have boy/girl twins and there is something about mothers and sons. Disagreement with daughter and its forgotten about by both of us in seconds but with the son it goes to the soul and stays. Be thankful he expressed himself to you!
You are doing everything right!
Wait a couple of years and you’ll have one that won’t get out of the shower in UNDER 30 minutes. Some of my son’s shirts have a lingering scent of his deodorant even after being washed, and he scratched his eye and started wearing glasses and the girls like it better. Ahhhhh (shaking my head).
I only have one more year with him and he’ll be off to college.