I Knew I Couldn’t Keep Up!
Warning… thoughts pouring from my heart today.
Have you ever set yourself up for failure?
You know, you say you are going to do something but in your mind you are constantly telling yourself something like this….
“Girl, I don’t know why you started that. You can’t keep up!”
“Girl, I don’t know why you said you would do it, you have no time!”
“Girl, just because she can do it, doesn’t mean you can do it!”
It reminds me of telling someone “YES” I will do that fun volunteer job although I have absolutely ZILCH time on my schedule to do it.
I do this ALL the time.
My heart is in the right place. I want to do it all.
Here is the truth of the matter.
I can’t.
I’m pretty sure no one can do it all. I’ve seen many try and continue to try even though their world is tumbling around them fast.
I can’t do it all and no one expects me too…. except myself.
Today I’m calling myself out and giving myself a little grace after beating myself up.
The truth is after blogging for 9 years (DANG, that’s a long time!) I’m always looking for ways to make it better. Always looking for the next best thing to talk about, blog about and create something to inspire the masses.
I think I accomplish about 50% of that. Mostly the creating part. It’s the one thing that comes easy for me- creating.
A few weeks ago I said I wanted to become a little more organized in my blogging. This meant structuring my weeks around a specific post each day and giving my readers something to look forward too.
Sounds good, right?
Ha Ha!
It lasted two weeks and I can’t keep up.
I live a pretty spontaneous life on the go all of the time. I had a schedule on my desk of everything I wanted to post on each of the days. I thought this was brilliant. A plan. Something to guide me.
The exact opposite happened. It totally stressed me OUT. When that happens, nothing happens. I pull back and I don’t want to do any of it. Stress is like cement for me. My feet are stuck and I can’t move.
The truth is, I knew I couldn’t keep up even though I wanted to give it a try. I’m a blogger that blogs on a whim. It’s consistent, but it’s on my time. It’s fresh content… as in I blog typically after midnight.
It boiled down to trying to be something I’m not. Every time that happens I get into a rut and have to do a little self examination.
That self examination leads to the feeling of failure. Why can’t I do it that way? Why can I not be like them? Why am I a failure?
WHOA! I don’t know about you but sometimes my self examination is a bit much even for myself to handle and leads down a road that can spiral out of control.
Thankfully I am strong enough to do a little self “uplifting” chat with myself. Telling myself to stop being something I am not. Be Kimberly. God only made one of me. I am not a failure. I am a girl who is being true to myself and realistic to the realities of my LIFE.
I’m a girl who does things on a whim. A girl who loves to create and share it with you. A girl that works hard to make things happen but works it her own way.
PHEW. I feel better already.
I couldn’t keep the schedule up and it’s okay. I can’t compare myself to others. God made Kimberly to be Kimberly- a crazy, not so organized, speaks truth and does things on a whim kind of girl.
If you think that I don’t compare myself to others, I’m afraid I do. I think I’ve said this before in another post. Comparison is the one thing that steals my joy FAST. Its the one thing that stops me from doing what I love. That feeling of wanting to be something I am not and I give it a try. Man it’s an awful thief.
Today I am giving myself a little grace. Knowing that what I set out to accomplish didn’t happen. Like the many things I’ve done in my business when something isn’t working I change it. When I fall flat on my face I get up, shake myself off and start over.
So today if something is stealing your joy, give yourself a little grace. Brush yourself off and start over.
I’m going back to my whimsical self.
As always, I’m thankful for you. Thanks for giving me grace. It’s only Wednesday and I’ve needed a lot of it so far.
37 thoughts on “I Knew I Couldn’t Keep Up!”
I am so glad you are writing this down and forgiving yourself. You be you. And you is me. Lol. Last year was my year of “no”. I did it! This is year is much better but I’ve tried a blog schedule and no sirree Bob. Like you, I’ll just be unpredictable Cathy. We love you and carry on.
Hi Kimberly . . . that sounds like good advice . . . and I enjoy your blogs . . . just thought you’d like to know.
Kimberly, just so you know…you ROCK!!! Love your posts! Your candor, humor, & wit are refreshing. And then you add your AWESOME talent in creativity—WOWEE! You are by far my top SU blogger to read. So you just give yourself a pat on the back & know you are doing wonderful things (& btw, I think we all need to give ourselves a break sometimes, thanks for the reminder!!) Creative ((hugs)) & love to you!
I think you are incredible, Kim. God has blessed you with a wonderful gift.
My first ever panic attack was on the bus from the airport to St. George on my very first Founder’s Circle trip a few years ago. I had never felt anxiety or recognized my anxiety until then and it’s only gotten worse since. Thank you for your honest post. You can’t do it all. I can’t do it all. And that’s OKAY!! We don’t have to be like everyone else. We are doing awesome being ourselves. ((hugs)) to you on this Wednesday morning. Thank you for reminding me that I don’t have to try to be something I’m not. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXoZLPSw8U8
Blogging on a whim has certainly served you well so far! I say go with what works for you! Family and God come first and time to take care of yourself. If the creating comes easy do it! That’s what I love to see, what you create, cuz it’s always awesome!!
Kimberly, I SO appreciate your post today! I am totally frazzled, trying to make all the Valentines gifts I promised myself I would do for my kids. I decided I am too old (67), and needed to just make cards and buy gift cards! Thanks for reminding me to step back and give myself some grace. They’ll still love me.
The video…. sigh. Had me in tears this morning. The truth behind it is perfect. Just be the person that God created. Thank you for sharing it with me.
Thank you Lynette. I am best at the whimsical me. LOL.
Yes. you are right. Giving ourselves a break is important. Thank you for making me smile this morning. XOXO
Diane, thank you. I appreciate you reading. XOXO
Unpredictable is fun…. LOL. You never know the cards we have in our pocket. It’s like magic. Love you my friend. XO
Yes, they will continue to love you regardless. We can put an amazing amount of pressure on ourselves. It’s good to just let it go. Enjoy the creating. That’s what it’s supposed to be… joyful. XOXOXO
As I read this I thought..she is just like me..you are better with words than I am..but I could say those exact words..I keep taking on more things and turn into this horrible overwhelmed person I do not wish to be….
I look forward to every post, every creation you share with us!! I truly understand the wanting to be better. that you would be your own worst critic, exactly like me……but you are right..all you can be is the unique you that you are!!!
Annette, I hope you are giving yourself the same grace I am giving myself today. You are exactly right, we are our own worst critics. We are unique and that is exactly who we should be. Just be the best YOU. Love you and thank you for reading. Your comment totally brought a smile to my face.
Oh how I love you my friend!!! Humm……But I THINK these are the exact words that you were preaching to me in September!! Do you remember!!! I know I still can’t keep up with things! AND everything doesn’t get done! What I can do, I do & what I don’t get done just has to wait! It still kills me that I can’t do it all! But we are hardest on ourselves- as you’ve told me more than once over the years. My famous words are now “someday’!!!! A BIG HUG to you!!! We are all super women….just in our many different ways!
Kimberly, such a truthfully raw post and thank you! Thank you for being honest, so many of us women truly feel the same, at least I know I do! We want to do it all! Be super mom! Be the ultimate crafters! But alas, we cannot… But that’s ok. Thank you, I needed this today ? And even if you don’t blog everyday, I will still be a devoted follower because you are you!
keep being you! your are perfect and wonderful just as you are!!!
We need to stop measuring ourselves against someone else. I am the perfect me right now at this moment and you are the perfect you. Hugs!
You speak volumes! I don’t do nearly as much as most demos as I’m just hobby demo but I still freak myself out sometimes just getting ready for a class. I don’t blog since I’m terrible with writing anyway so I just enjoy everyone else’s blog and wonder how you all do it all! I see some blogs with posts everyday with projects and I just think to myself – how on earth do they do it! Major kudo’s to those that can but most certainly don’t bet yourself up if you can’t! Be yourself! Keep it real and keep it fun!
I love your blog and your honesty! I’ve experienced the same thing. I started a blog to document my cancer journey – always had something to write about. Since finishing treatment and doing well two years later, I don’t have as much to report without really working on a post. I’ve tried the weekly things – even linking to other blogs, etc – but finally had to admit I do better when I let God put something on my heart to write about. I like your definition of blogging on a whim! Keep whatever schedule/whim makes it FUN for you!
I’ve always wondered why bloggers felt they had to post every day. I don’t expect that from anyone. Grace be to you – whatever you do, whenever you do it, it is appreciated and enjoyed. Take care of yourself. You are loved?
You’re learning and growing and that’s good. I don’t think we care when or how often you post, just post when you feel like posting!! That’s the fun of it right? Just enjoy, and if you don’t feel like posting, well, that’s ok and I don’t think anyone will fault you. I think it’s more important you enjoy yourself and what you’re doing but you’re already finding that out.
Today, this week, I’m also working on not letting stuff steal my God given joy. Thanks for reaffirming for me. Love your posts and work. Thanks!
Hi Kimberley. I read your blog but I think this may be first time I’ve commented. Your post was very touching and it could have been me writing it. I am so like you. I am learning to say no, live life my way ( not selfishly but true to how I am) do what is important and be content with how I am and what I can do. It’s not easy but saying no to myself and others at times is getting easier. Take care. Anne
Kimberly – I think of you as a “stream-of-consciousness” kinda person. Wonderful and creative. I look forward to your blog posts. Always worth the read and creative spark! I’m thrilled you are going to continue w it. It makes you and your blog one-of-a-kind. So journey on and easily leave the guilt of the other behind!
Go with what feels right I say! I wing it all the time. When I do plan my blog posts in advance for the week I never end up sticking to the plan anyway and it becomes so illegible when I change the day’s planned post two, three or more times! Lol! 🙂
So HAPPY you shared this! I too thought I would be the everyday blogger…then life stepped in…the life I chose and am HAPPY with. Happy enough to let it be the dictate to who I am and what I do!
I too was trying to be like someone whom I am not and you know, I am me and not her. I was trying to be the blogger who would be a great draw…then life stepped in (aka reality).
I had a major surgery that laid me back for about a year. It still does! I’m not using it for neglecting life, but it tells me what I can and can’t do. I am so in a constant battle with this! I want to be like I was…but I need to accept what I am. I believe your Russ has this battle too. We are not as we were. BUT we are stronger for going through what we have and we are still trying to be who we were once.
As we get older this too fights us! Thank you again for showing your struggle and being real! It has helped me realize that I am NOT able to do everything my mind and heart wants to do…I need to take each day for what it offers and just relish in it!
Blessings to you and your family…stay real and just enjoy this journey.
Love your blogging it doesn’t matter how or when you blog, you do what is best for you i have followed your blog for what feels like forever, would like you to get the pleasure from your blog that I get from reading it.
Also just to let you know you are in inspiration in everything you do.
Kimberly, thank you for sharing your heart. I am a very organized person yet my (over)commitments drive me to absolute exhaustion. I have read your blog for several years and LOVE the raw honesty you share. Do I enjoy and get inspired by your creativity yes but it is how real you are that draws me in each day.
Our son is a senior at UF and he walks to the beat of a different drummer, always has. He is struggling due to comparing himself to others. I want you to know that I am sharing your post with him. The point is you inspire in ways you don’t even know and expect.
Stay true to you, that is the woman WE LOVE.
Kimberly, I’ve been following you for a while and I love your gut-wrenching honesty. I’ve wanted to start a blog but I already know before I even begin that I cannot post on a schedule and that has prevented me from even starting. But what this particular post has shown me is that IT’S OK! The fact that you don’t keep to a schedule has not deterred me from following you and it gives me hope that I can be myself and be successful too. Thank you for that! Please keep on doing what you’re doing. Your style is fantastic and I really enjoy hearing about your life. You are an inspiration in so many ways?
I say jump in and see where it takes you. You never know what will happen until you make the leap. Consistency is the ultimate key to successful blogging. IT doesn’t have to be daily despite what you see. As long as you are consistent, it works. XOXO
Michelle, thank you. Your words I appreciate it and it brought a smile to my face today. XOXOXO
You are absolutely right my friend. I’ve learned that you have to have JOY which so many of us lack because we let too many things get in our way which robs us of that joy. Russ has learned this over and over again and it wasn’t until he let go of that burden that he finally was able to find joy again. I think we have to look at the reality of life and that is what can bring us joy. The fact that we are up and breathing today is joy. The other things are SMALL. I tell you all of this but know it’s a daily struggle. I just pray that God guides me and to use me for His glory. Sometimes His guidance is a hard reality of taking a step back and getting my priorities straight. LOL. XOXOXO Blessings to you my friend.
Yes. Winging it is my cup of tea. LOL. It works. Why I always feel the need to fix something that isn’t broken is beyond me.
I just love you my friend. I really do. Your steadfast loyalty is what keeps a girl like me going. XO
Anne, thank you for taking time to comment. I read every single one and always grateful to those that read my blog let alone leave a comment. I agree. Saying no is never easy but I find when I do my life is a tad bit easier. I’m able to rest and rejuvenate this old body of mine and still accomplish my mama duties and not be ugly doing it because I was overloaded in my schedule. I know every single time I have said to many yes’s. I’m one big grump. LOL. XOXO
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