I Knew I Couldn’t Keep Up!
Warning… thoughts pouring from my heart today.
Have you ever set yourself up for failure?
You know, you say you are going to do something but in your mind you are constantly telling yourself something like this….
“Girl, I don’t know why you started that. You can’t keep up!”
“Girl, I don’t know why you said you would do it, you have no time!”
“Girl, just because she can do it, doesn’t mean you can do it!”
It reminds me of telling someone “YES” I will do that fun volunteer job although I have absolutely ZILCH time on my schedule to do it.
I do this ALL the time.
My heart is in the right place. I want to do it all.
Here is the truth of the matter.
I’m pretty sure no one can do it all. I’ve seen many try and continue to try even though their world is tumbling around them fast.
I can’t do it all and no one expects me too…. except myself.
Today I’m calling myself out and giving myself a little grace after beating myself up.
The truth is after blogging for 9 years (DANG, that’s a long time!) I’m always looking for ways to make it better. Always looking for the next best thing to talk about, blog about and create something to inspire the masses.
I think I accomplish about 50% of that. Mostly the creating part. It’s the one thing that comes easy for me- creating.
A few weeks ago I said I wanted to become a little more organized in my blogging. This meant structuring my weeks around a specific post each day and giving my readers something to look forward too.
Sounds good, right?
It lasted two weeks and I can’t keep up.
I live a pretty spontaneous life on the go all of the time. I had a schedule on my desk of everything I wanted to post on each of the days. I thought this was brilliant. A plan. Something to guide me.
The exact opposite happened. It totally stressed me OUT. When that happens, nothing happens. I pull back and I don’t want to do any of it. Stress is like cement for me. My feet are stuck and I can’t move.
The truth is, I knew I couldn’t keep up even though I wanted to give it a try. I’m a blogger that blogs on a whim. It’s consistent, but it’s on my time. It’s fresh content… as in I blog typically after midnight.
It boiled down to trying to be something I’m not. Every time that happens I get into a rut and have to do a little self examination.
That self examination leads to the feeling of failure. Why can’t I do it that way? Why can I not be like them? Why am I a failure?
WHOA! I don’t know about you but sometimes my self examination is a bit much even for myself to handle and leads down a road that can spiral out of control.
Thankfully I am strong enough to do a little self “uplifting” chat with myself. Telling myself to stop being something I am not. Be Kimberly. God only made one of me. I am not a failure. I am a girl who is being true to myself and realistic to the realities of my LIFE.
I’m a girl who does things on a whim. A girl who loves to create and share it with you. A girl that works hard to make things happen but works it her own way.
PHEW. I feel better already.
I couldn’t keep the schedule up and it’s okay. I can’t compare myself to others. God made Kimberly to be Kimberly- a crazy, not so organized, speaks truth and does things on a whim kind of girl.
If you think that I don’t compare myself to others, I’m afraid I do. I think I’ve said this before in another post. Comparison is the one thing that steals my joy FAST. Its the one thing that stops me from doing what I love. That feeling of wanting to be something I am not and I give it a try. Man it’s an awful thief.
Today I am giving myself a little grace. Knowing that what I set out to accomplish didn’t happen. Like the many things I’ve done in my business when something isn’t working I change it. When I fall flat on my face I get up, shake myself off and start over.
So today if something is stealing your joy, give yourself a little grace. Brush yourself off and start over.
I’m going back to my whimsical self.
As always, I’m thankful for you. Thanks for giving me grace. It’s only Wednesday and I’ve needed a lot of it so far.